Success is Learning

After so much misery, I woke up in the Fordasaurus to a clear sunrise on Monday morning. It had not rained as everyone had claimed it was going to. I looked at my phone to see a pile of emails from so many people regarding my big failure. I had to acknowledge the encouragement and love from all of my friends and family. The time had come to determine if I was really going to quit or if I was going to rejoin the team. If I was going to quit and go home, I had better get moving; the plane leaves in a few hours. All of my gear was dried out, and I had re-packed my gear. To rejoin the group, I had to pinpoint their exact location and get myself to them precisely when they crossed that road. Jason had text me and gave me a general idea of where they were. After a long while of phone calls to shuttle services that said they were booked up and unavailable, I walked to each gas station looking for someone to give me a ride way into the middle of no where. No one was willing to help me even for money and time was running out. There was an older gentlemen that appeared to be retired military. I asked him if he knew of anyone locally that could give me a ride. He replied that he had nothing to do and might as well take me himself. He was the first blessing I had seen in a while. After almost getting lost with him and passing the approximate location, we went back to a possible campground. Going back and forth I finally told him to drop me off at the crossroad intersection where two roads met up with the AT. I got my gear out of the truck, signed in on the AT registry, and looked down the hill to see Spence a mere 50 feet away! The timing was critically close. We sat around for a while as a group and enjoyed lunch. It was time to start hiking with these real men who were willing to accept me back into their crew. I was suddenly invigorated. We went up some of the most beautiful mountain sides I had ever seen. The over looks were astonishing. Spence took off in the lead while Tom and Jason were lagging back a little. This left me alone, again. It's ok; I deserved that. I turned on my Ipod and continued up that mountain with a hurried pace. Suddenly the majestic beauty of it hit me. I had chills up my spine as I soaked in the breathtaking views. I was alive, refreshed, and completely in awe of the wondrous surroundings. This was absolutely awesome!I had no clue what kind of reward could have been waiting for me. Over the past couple of months I physically trained and even prepared with all of the proper equipment. I went through all the correct motions yet I was not ready. When I got here, I was clueless regarding what to expect. I judged quickly and prematurely determined this was hell. It wasn't until I was willing to accept responsibility for my actions, overcome the guilt and shame, and put forth the fortitude to go back for a second attempt before I realized what wonders lay ahead for me. This was not hell as I previously thought. If Heaven starts out rough, I will know not to give up too quickly.In a feeble attempt to redeem myself, I brought back several bottles of fresh water. I carried this for miles and shared with the guys whenever they were thirsty. I desperately wanted the role of motivator to my friends. I told jokes and stories. We had some real positive bonding time. We came to a shelter where we could have stopped, but by unanimous decision we decided to push on another ten miles to the next shelter. We had no idea how much uphill climbs there would be. Heading uphill also means no water. We were running desperately scarce on water, and I had already shared all the water I brought. We crossed one stream and took it for granted that there would be plenty more. The later it got, the more desperate the situation became. We kept pushing along the top of an endless ridge line. Even the dog was getting very fatigued. We must get to water because we were sweating out too much. We finally reached a pinnacle with a bunch of huge rocks. We stopped for a moment to take a break when it suddenly hit me. I said to the guys, "I'm about to pass out" and then I hit the ground. The world was spinning and I felt horrible. This was a dire situation for me. Then I realized I had a half of a bottle of water stashed that I had to drink. Jason went on to look for water while Tom took care of me. After coming to, Tom and I set up camp. Spence ran back two and a half miles of mountain trails in the dark to bring us water. I went on to bed for the best night of tent camping sleep ever. This was a great day.The next day Tom and I made it to the camp where Jason and Spence had spent the night. They had a great camp with showers and fresh water. Tom and TJ stayed there for the day so that Spence could slack pack to the end; the challenge was set to see how fast Spence could make it the last 12 miles. Jason and I hiked with most of our gear. We were a two man team and Jason was the diesel freight train engine full of unending endurance. We had three incredibly steep mountains to climb in the hot sun. The view was terrible and the water source had dried up. This was becoming increasingly difficult. It seemed the harder it became, the more stoic Jason' endurance grew. We finally reached water about eight miles in. The final four miles were mostly downhill and canopied along a stream. The canopy reminded me of what those soldiers must have gone through in Vietnam. They certainly endured far worse then me.Jason and I became even closer this trip. We finished the last section together in the pouring rain. Afterward, we all went out to dinner for huge steak and cheese subs, then retired to our hotel rooms where we nearly collapsed from pure exhaustion. Going through these tough times does more than make us appreciate the good times. My closest friend, Jason, has the ability to push through any amount of pain which was astonishing to me. When most people get weak from exhaustion, he became a focused machine that could endure any amount of suffering.  Spence taught me that we can push outselves to new boundries and then a little further.  Tom displayed how the mind keeps going.  His intellectual business creativity intrigues me because he was able to disconnect which only made him more focused.  I learned about my own physical and mental stamina. I know now how far I can push my body through physical strength and endurance testing. More importantly, I know that I have mental limitations that with focus, can be stretched beyond my normal elements. We should all try new things throughout our lives. Some of those things will truly test our character. I survived this test and overcame failure even at my weakest moment.  The Appalacian Trail is full of ups and downs, knobs and gaps, and highs and lows; then there are the mountains.